Sources

This course stands in a lineage. Its thinking and practice have been deeply shaped by the Kinsey Institute; Emily Nagoski; Peggy Kleinplatz and A. Dena Menard; Rosemary Basson and Lori Brotto's work on spontaneous and responsive desire; John Bancroft and Erick Janssen's Dual Control Model; Meredith Chivers and Kelly Suschinsky's research on arousal non-concordance; the research and educational work of OMGYES; Betty Martin's work on consent and touch; Debby Herbenick's research on pleasure; and the work of Staci Haines, the Strozzi Institute, Generative Somatics, Ma Ananda Sarita, Dharmaraj, Modestas, and Tanmaya. This course would not be what it is without them.

Books
Welcome
Lindberg & Kantor, 2022

Adolescents’ receipt of sex education in a nationally representative sample, 2011–2019.

National U.S. data showing that adolescents in 2015–2019 were less likely than adolescents in 1995 to report receiving formal instruction on key sex education topics, including birth control. For example, one summary of the study reports that instruction on birth control fell from 81% to 63% for adolescent males and from 87% to 64% for adolescent females between 1995 and 2015–2019.

Unlearning
Wallen & Lloyd, 2011

Female sexual arousal: genital anatomy and orgasm in intercourse

Research on how clitoral-urethral distance may shape orgasm during intercourse.

Herbenick et al., 2018

Women’s Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm

Nationally representative U.S. data showing that most women orgasm more reliably or pleasurably during intercourse when clitoral stimulation is involved.

Consent 101 — No sources
An Anatomical Tour
Arias-Castillo et al., 2023

The complexity of female orgasm and ejaculation

The idea that the “G-spot” may be better understood as stimulation of the clitourethrovaginal complex rather than a single discrete organ, and for the distinction between female ejaculation and squirting.

Kilchevsky et al., 2012

Is the female G-spot truly a distinct anatomic entity?

This review says that radiographic studies have not demonstrated a unique entity, other than the clitoris, whose direct stimulation leads to vaginal orgasm.

Komisaruk et al., 2011

Women’s Clitoris, Vagina, and Cervix Mapped on the Sensory Cortex: fMRI Evidence

This fMRI study found that nipple stimulation activated not only the chest/breast region of the sensory cortex, but also the genital sensory cortex — helping explain why nipple stimulation can feel erotically connected to genital arousal.

Body Love
Becker et al., 2002

Eating behaviours and attitudes following prolonged exposure to television among ethnic Fijian adolescent girls

74% felt “too big or fat” at least some of the time, 62% had dieted in the previous four weeks, and self-induced vomiting to control weight rose from 0% in 1995 to 11.3% in 1998

Mondaini et al., 2002

Penile length is normal in most men seeking penile lengthening procedures

Supports the claim that, in this study, 85% of men seeking penile lengthening surgery overestimated normal penile length. Specifically, 57 of 67 patients (85%) thought a “normal” penis should be 10–17 cm long.

Veale et al., 2015

Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15,521 men

Supports the claim that average erect penis length is about 5.16 inches (13.12 cm).

Identity — No sources
Digital Consent — No sources
Care & Upkeep
Long et al., 2020

Menstrual cup use and intrauterine device expulsion in a copper intrauterine device contraceptive efficacy trial

Supports the claim that, in one prospective trial, IUD expulsion was more common in menstrual cup users: 14.3% vs 4.7% at 1 year and 23.2% vs 6.5% at 2 years.

Body Rhythms & Signals
Wilcox et al., 2020

Preimplantation loss of fertilized human ova

Supports the claim that an estimated 40–50% of fertilized ova fail to implant.

Levy & Romo-Avilu00e9s, 2019

“A good little tool to get to know yourself a bit better”: a qualitative study on users’ experiences of app-supported menstrual tracking in Europe

Apps can be useful for tracking cycles and symptoms, but users may also overtrust predictions and blame their bodies when the app is wrong.

van der Meulen et al., 2025

Sexual Satisfaction and Dysfunction in Transgender Adults Following Puberty Suppression

Cohort study finding that adults who received puberty blockers in adolescence had similar sexual satisfaction and function compared to those who began gender-affirming hormones later, with no clear evidence of worse outcomes.

Slocum et al., 2023

Pelvic Pain in Transgender People Using Testosterone

Study of 486 transmasculine people on testosterone finding that 72.2% reported pelvic pain after starting T, often described as cramping and associated with factors like persistent menstruation and PTSD history rather than just dryness.

Lehmiller et al., 2026

The role of masturbation in relieving symptoms associated with the menopause transition

Supports the idea that some perimenopausal and postmenopausal women use self-pleasure for symptom relief; the study found that nearly one in five reported that masturbation helped relieve menopause-related symptoms, and reported benefits included improved vaginal lubrication.

Pope et al., 2000

Missed diagnoses of acute cardiac ischemia in the emergency department

This study found that patients with acute cardiac ischemia were more likely not to be hospitalized if they were women younger than 55, with an odds ratio for discharge of 6.7 compared with others.

Porn v. Reality
Bridges et al., 2010

Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos

A Content Analysis Update A content analysis of 304 scenes from best-selling pornographic videos finding that 88% contained physical aggression (primarily spanking, gagging, and slapping), mostly directed at women, who responded with neutral or positive reactions.

Herbenick et al., 2025

Prevalence and Correlates of Sexual Choking and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) Among College Students: Findings from a Campus-Representative Survey

Supports campus-representative prevalence data on sexual choking among college students.

Herbenick et al., 2023

Sexual Behaviors at University Students’ Most Recent Sexual Event: Findings from a Probability Survey of Undergraduate Students

Supports the stat on choking during students’ most recent sexual encounter.

Joyal et al., 2015

What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy? Survey of 1,516 adults rating 55 sexual fantasies, finding that only two were statistically rare and that submission/domination themes were common across genders.

Lehmiller, 2018

Tell Me What You Want Largest U.S. survey of sexual fantasies (4,175 adults), finding multi-partner and power/control fantasies were the two most common categories.

Bivona & Critelli, 2009

Women's Rape Fantasies

An Empirical Evaluation Study of 355 women finding 62% reported at least one forced-sex fantasy, with the majority framing it erotically rather than as a literal desire.

Taylor Kohut et al., 2020

Surveying Pornography Use: A Shaky Science Resting on Poor Measurement Foundations

Argues that a lot of pornography research relies on inconsistent, weakly validated measures, which makes broad claims about porn harder to interpret.

Petrović et al., 2025

The Impact of Prolonged Stress of COVID-19 Pandemic on Internet Use and Internet-Based Addictive Behaviors and Their Effects on Well-Being

Supports that increased/problematic pornography viewing predicted greater depression, anxiety, and stress, which in turn predicted reduced quality of life.

Bőthe et al., 2022

Associations Between Pornography Use Frequency, Pornography Use Motivations, and Sexual Wellbeing in Couples

Looks at how pornography use frequency and motivations relate to sexual wellbeing in couples.

Solo Play
Andersen et al., 1995

Women's Sexuality: Behaviors, Responses, and Individual Differences

Notes that previous estimates suggested 5–10% of sexually active women have not experienced orgasm.

Herbenick et al., 2018

Women’s Experiences with Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94

Supports that 66.5% of women endorsed stimulating the clitoris indirectly by moving the surrounding skin rather than directly touching the clitoris itself.

Healing Shame — No sources
Healthy Relationships
Mineo, 2017

Good genes are nice, but joy is better

Summarizes findings from the Harvard Study of Adult Development showing that close relationships are stronger predictors of long, healthy, happy lives than money, fame, social class, IQ, or even genes.

Werner et al., 2019

The Clinical Trait Self-Criticism and Its Relation to Psychopathology

Systematic review showing that self-criticism is linked with depression and other forms of psychological distress.

Gottman Institute

Research

Supports the Gottman finding that most relationship problems (69%) never get resolved and are instead “perpetual problems.”

Stefanou & McCabe, 2012

Adult Attachment and Sexual Functioning: A Review of Past Research

Reviews evidence that secure attachment is linked to higher sexual satisfaction, while anxious and avoidant attachment are linked to more sexual difficulties and dissatisfaction.

Butzer & Campbell, 2008

Adult Attachment, Sexual Satisfaction, and Relationship Satisfaction: A Study of Married Couples

Found that higher attachment anxiety and avoidance were associated with lower sexual satisfaction in married couples.

Essential Functional Knowledge
Magaret et al., 2016

Effect of Condom Use on Per-act HSV-2 Transmission Risk in HIV-1, HSV-2-discordant Couples

Supports the per-act estimate that condoms reduced HSV-2 transmission risk by 96% from men to women and 65% from women to men.

Pastor et al., 2013

The influence of combined oral contraceptives on female sexual desire: a systematic review

Found that among combined oral contraceptive users, 15% reported a decrease in libido, 22% reported an increase, and 63% reported no change.

Eltobgy et al., 2024

Effects of pubic hair grooming on women's sexual health: a systematic review and meta-analysis

Found that pubic hair grooming is common and associated with a range of outcomes, including increased risk of injuries (e.g., cuts, irritation) and potential links to higher rates of certain infections such as sexually transmitted infections, though results vary across studies.

Jones, 2024

An estimate of lifetime incidence of abortion in the United States using 2021–2022 Abortion Patient Survey data

Supports that 24.7% of U.S. women are expected to have an abortion by age 45 if 2020 abortion rates remain constant.

Arousal ≠ Pleasure ≠ Desire
Emily Nagoski, 2021

Come As You Are: Revised and Updated

Clear, accessible synthesis of the modern science of sexual response, desire, arousal, context, and the “accelerators and brakes” framing.

Kleinplatz & Ménard, 2020

Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers

Book arguing that the strongest route to “sex worth wanting” is not performance or frequency, but presence, deep connection, communication, authenticity, and pleasure.

Bancroft & Janssen, 2000

The Dual Control Model of Male Sexual Response

Foundational paper for the dual control model: sexual response is shaped by both excitatory and inhibitory systems, not just “turn-ons.”

Janssen & Bancroft, 2009

The Dual Control Model: Current Status and Future Directions

Major review of the dual control model and its implications for understanding variation in sexual response.

Basson, 2000

The Female Sexual Response: A Different Model

Classic paper laying out the idea that desire is not always spontaneous and may emerge responsively, especially in longer-term relational contexts.

Basson, 2001

Female Sexual Response: The Role of Drugs in the Management of Sexual Dysfunction

Concise statement of the responsive-desire model: for many women, desire is often responsive rather than spontaneous.

Basson, 2002

Women’s Sexual Desire—Disordered or Misunderstood?

Influential follow-up arguing that lack of spontaneous desire is not automatically dysfunction, and that responsive desire is a normal pattern for many people.

Chivers et al., 2010

Agreement of Self-Reported and Genital Measures of Sexual Arousal in Men and Women: A Meta-Analysis

Landmark meta-analysis on arousal non-concordance: genital response and subjective arousal are more tightly linked in men than in women on average.

Chivers, 2010

A Brief Update on the Specificity of Sexual Arousal

Helpful review explaining that lower concordance between genital and subjective arousal is a consistent finding in women and why that matters.

Lykins et al., 2006

The relationship between negative mood and sexuality in heterosexual college woman and men

Study finding that negative mood usually reduced sexual interest and arousal, but increased it for a minority of participants; men were more likely than women to report increased sexual interest during negative mood states.

Kovacevic et al., 2023

Is Spontaneous Sex Ideal? Beliefs and Perceptions of Spontaneous and Planned Sex and Sexual Satisfaction in Romantic

Relationships Two studies found that people tend to believe spontaneous sex is more satisfying than planned sex, but planned sex was not consistently linked to lower sexual satisfaction — suggesting intentional or planned sex can still be deeply satisfying.

Trauma and Softening Shame
Staci K. Haines, 2019

The Politics of Trauma: Somatics, Healing, and Social Justice

Frames trauma as both personal and systemic, linking healing, embodiment, and social conditions.

Peter A. Levine, 2010

In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness

Explores trauma through a body-based lens and argues that healing involves working with the nervous system, not just the story.

Peter A. Levine, 1997

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma

Classic somatic-trauma book introducing Levine’s core ideas about how trauma is held in the body and how recovery can involve working through bodily responses.

Bessel van der Kolk, 2014

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Major popular book on how trauma shapes the brain and body, and on the range of approaches people use in healing.

Sex Toys
Herbenick et al., 2009

Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by women in the United States: results from a nationally representative study

Nationally representative U.S. study finding vibrator use was common, associated with positive sexual function measures, and rarely linked to side effects.

Expanded Solo Play
Reece et al., 2009

Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by men in the United States

Nationally representative U.S. study finding that vibrator use was fairly common among men and was associated with a range of solo and partnered sexual behaviors.

Pastor et al., 2013

Female Ejaculation Orgasm vs. Coital Incontinence: A Systematic Review

Review distinguishing female ejaculation, squirting, and coital incontinence, and noting that prevalence estimates vary widely depending on definition.

Darling et al., 1990

Female ejaculation: Perceived origins, the Grafenberg spot/area, and sexual responsiveness

Survey-based study on women’s reports of ejaculation, perceived fluid origin, and links to sexual responsiveness.

Bullough et al., 1984

Subjective reports of female orgasmic expulsion of fluid

Early questionnaire study reporting that many women in the sample said they had experienced orgasmic expulsion of fluid at least once.

Pastor & Chmel, 2022

Female ejaculation and squirting as similar but completely different phenomena: A narrative review of current research

Narrative review arguing that female ejaculation and squirting are related but distinct phenomena with different likely sources.

Darling et al., 1991

The female sexual response revisited: understanding the multiorgasmic experience in women

Questionnaire study of 805 college-educated female nurses in which 42.7% reported having experienced multiple orgasms.

Herbenick et al., 2017

Women’s Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94

Among women who reported multiple orgasms, 53.3% said that after the first orgasm, what felt best was returning to earlier kinds of stimulation to “rebuild.”

Consent 201 — No sources
Paired Play Intro — No sources
Presence  — No sources
Communication 201
Kleinplatz & Ménard, 2020

Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers

Book arguing that the strongest route to “sex worth wanting” is not performance or frequency, but presence, deep connection, communication, authenticity, and pleasure.

Mallory, 2022

Dimensions of couples’ sexual communication, relationship satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction: A meta-analysis

Meta-analysis finding that better sexual communication—especially higher-quality communication—is strongly linked to greater sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Frederick et al., 2016

What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated With Sexual Communication, Mood Setting, Sexual Variety, Oral Sex, Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study

Large U.S. study finding that sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships was associated with better sexual communication, more sexual variety, more mood-setting, more oral sex, and more consistent orgasm

Building Arousal — No sources
Hands — No sources
Oral Pleasure & Tribbing — No sources
Strap Ons & Partner Toys — No sources
Vaginal Penetration
Wallen & Lloyd, 2011

Female sexual arousal: genital anatomy and orgasm in intercourse

Review/article arguing that orgasm from intercourse is more variable in women than in men, and analyzing older datasets that found a shorter clitoris-to-urethral-meatus distance was associated with a higher likelihood of orgasm during intercourse.

Hensel et al., 2021

Women’s techniques for making vaginal penetration more pleasurable: Results from a nationally representative study of adult women in the United States

Hensel et al., 2021 — National U.S. probability-sample study identifying four common techniques women use to make penetration feel better: Angling, Rocking, Shallowing, and Pairing. The paper reports prevalence estimates including 87.5% for angling, about 76% for rocking, and about 84% for shallowing.

Anal & Pegging
Hensel et al., 2022

Women’s techniques for pleasure from anal touch: Results from a U.S. probability sample of women ages 18–93

National U.S. probability-sample study finding that anal pleasure is not one single thing: about 40% of women found Anal Surfacing pleasurable, 34.6% found some form of internal anal touch pleasurable, and about 40% of women who enjoyed anal touch reported that Anal Pairing made other sexual touch more pleasurable.

van Anders, 2021

The Heteronormativity Theory of Low Sexual Desire in Women Partnered with Men

Review of dyadic research suggesting that, despite common stereotypes, men and women in heterosexual relationships are about equally likely to be the lower-desire partner, with desire discrepancies not inherently gendered but shaped by relational and cultural dynamics.

Trans Sex — No sources
Reflection & Aftercare — No sources
Consent 301 — No sources
Deepening Intimacy
Northrup, Schwartz, & Witte, 2013

The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship

Book drawing on a large international survey of couples to explore the habits, sexual patterns, and emotional dynamics linked to happier long-term relationships.

Bringing It All Together — No sources