Welcome

Hey. Welcome.

If you’re here because you’re curious, bored, skeptical, wildly experienced, quietly dissatisfied, or just accidentally clicked the wrong link and felt something anyway… 

You’re in the right place. ( )

Whoever you are, wherever you’re coming from, whatever you’ve been through, there’s something here for you. We’d bet a lot of money that if you read to the end, you’ll have at least one or two wait! WHAT?! moments that will massively improve your sex life forever. 

Here’s the truth: most of us are walking around having sex the way we learned to cook from three chaotic roommates and a TikTok. Some hits, some misses, and a persistent feeling that everyone else got a secret manual we somehow missed.

They didn’t. They’re making it up as they go, too.

What we got was a diagram from 1997, a doomy warning about disease, and zero instruction about pleasure. We got how to avoid looking too eager, too weird, too much. We got “sex is everywhere and you should be a pro — but never ask questions.” No curiosity. No skill-building. No good info. 

Young people today are actually less likely to receive meaningful sex ed than they were 25 years ago. So we turn to the internet, where we find porn, a mess of misinformation, and approximately ten thousand conflicting opinions about how to do sex right.

It’s like trying to learn to swim when all anyone told you was:

It’s an absurd contradiction.

The am I normal? ache

Bad information doesn’t just leave gaps. It leaves damage. It’s like glitter — impossible to fully remove.

Beneath almost every question typed into an anonymous forum at 1:14 a.m. is the same private ache: Am I normal? Is my body normal? Is what I want normal? Are the sounds, fluids, rhythms, and strange little detours of my body normal?

The answer is probably: yes.

Unless you’re experiencing unwanted pain, your body is normal. It’s simply more nuanced than the culture prepared you for. What isn’t normal is a culture that convinces people they’re broken for being human — and then sells them solutions.

This course isn’t here to fix you. Hint: you’re not broken. It’s here to help you unlearn some nonsense and fill in some G______A______P______S.

Sex as a hobby

One of our favorite ways to instantly level up your sex life — borrowed lovingly from sex educator Ruth Ramsay — is to think of sex like a hobby.

Like learning how to cook one dish so well people request it. Like deciding, at age thirty-two, that you’re going to be epic at double dutch. Like buying roller skates, eating shit in the parking lot, and slowly figuring out balance.

If you wanted to get better at any of those things, you’d take a class. You’d practice badly at first. You’d ask questions. You might buy some new toys and watch too many videos and become briefly insufferable about it. And no one — absolutely no one — would expect you to be excellent without time, repetition, and a lot of attempts.

Sex gets so much better when you let go of the tired script that it’s some innate skill you either are or aren’t born with. Like anything else, it gets better with practice. 

What’s actually inside

Yes, there are techniques in here. They’re spicy. They’re fun. They might surprise you or make you giggle. But the real gift is learning how pleasure works — and how to stop forcing yourself into some imaginary “normal” blueprint that was never built for your actual body.

When you understand pleasure, you don’t just get better orgasms. You get self-trust. You get the language to ask for what you want. You get the relief of realizing your body isn’t broken or flawed or “too much.”

Pleasure is not fluff. It’s not sequins on top of life. Pleasure changes the quality of being alive inside your own skin. It affects how open you feel, how defended, how much sensation you let in, how much truth you can tolerate. Fear contracts. Pleasure opens.

So. A gentle invitation to come to this course — and to sex — as a beginner. To explore and play. Play like you once did building forts out of couch cushions. Play like “ooh, what happens if we try this?”

It’s okay to be vanilla or kinky. Straight or queer. Cis or trans. To want one partner or many. To want sex never, rarely, or constantly. There’s no right script. We’re not here to convince you of one. There’s only more awareness. More honesty. More possibility.

By the time we’re done, you’ll understand things most people never do.

And from there? A lot more pleasure will be possible.

Before you dive in

We want this to be the best sex ed on earth. So here’s everything you actually need to know before you start — kept as short as we could make it.

You’re always in choice. 

Take what feels interesting, leave the rest. There’s no right way to do sex… only what does and doesn’t work for you. You don’t have to push yourself or be brave or edgy or “good” at this. The course is meant to be taken in order. All the partner sections build on the solo sections. But take what you like and leave the rest. Some of this content might stir things up — if something lands heavy, take that seriously. Talk to someone you trust. We have resources here if you need them.

This isn’t medical advice. 

We work with medical professionals and use the best available evidence, but nothing here replaces your own provider. Something medical going on? Talk to your doctor. Something big emotionally? Find a therapist. At the same time though it’s worth knowing that most doctors received almost no sex ed, and even less trans and non-binary health. So if you’ve ever been brushed off or subtly blamed… yep. Go in informed.

Science is still catching up to pleasure. 

Until it does, there’s going to be some oral tradition involved in great sex ed. Stats are offered as information, not commandments. Think of it like sleep: if you need ten hours and the world says eight, the world is wrong and you’re tired. Almost all existing research was done on cis folks so we usually use gendered language to reflect the studies — when that changes, we’ll update accordingly.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

Variation is the norm — desire levels, arousal patterns, preferences, timing, all of it. The one signal that something genuinely needs attention is unwanted pain. That’s worth taking seriously, and it’s far more common than people realize, which means if that’s your experience, you’re not alone. Real support exists.

We stand on the shoulders of giants — especially Emily Nagoski. 

A huge amount of this course is shaped by her work, which has changed modern sex education in profound and lasting ways. When we say “pleasure is the measure!” and ask “do you actually like the sex you’re having?“ — that’s her lineage. We’re deeply grateful. Check her out sometime. 

We’re not trying to pretend we invented sex ed.

Throughout the course, we share videos from educators, creators, clinicians, and artists who explain things beautifully. Their work helped make this course better — richer, funnier, clearer, more human, and more alive. We’re grateful for the brilliance, care, and creativity they’ve shared with the world.

This is a finite course.

We cut everything that wasn’t essential. No memorizing the symptoms of chlamydia. No knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Just the stuff that will actually change how you experience your body and your life. It’s still a long course — take it in bites. Try one thing in real life. Let the payoff pull you back for the next piece.

We separate anatomy from culture.

When we talk about bodies — arousal, sensation, orgasm, nerves, blood flow — we use anatomical language directly: vulvas, penises, clitorises, vaginas, erectile tissue. Sometimes we use the terms “male” and “female” to talk about biological systems for clarity. When we talk about social conditioning — scripts, shame, power, expectations — we use gendered language like “women” and “men,” because society treats people differently based on perceived gender and that shapes real experience.

We made this because we think sex is pretty damn great.

Beautiful, awkward, hilarious, healing, deeply pleasurable — sometimes all at once. We don’t care how much or how little sex plays a role in your life. But we do passionately believe that a world where everyone has access to honest, evidence-based, pleasure-positive sex education is a kinder world. A calmer world. More consent, more empathy, more choice. That’s the whole conspiracy. From the very beginning, it was essential to us that the course be free — because we believe this information should be common knowledge, not a secret handshake you only get if you’re lucky.

Your questions are the point.

As they arise — write them down. And if you have feedback, strong opinions, or ideas — tell us. We want this to be the best sex ed on earth and we can’t do it alone.

No fixing. No performing. Just learning what’s actually possible.

You’re already in. Have fun.