Consent 301

Consent 301

Book Sex Worth Wanting
Chapter 1 of 3

We’ve come a long way. This is our final module on consent.

By now, hopefully, it’s clear that consent isn’t something you use only in sexual moments. It’s something you’re already practicing everywhere else in your life. In how you listen to yourself. In how you relate to power. In what you override. In what you allow.

Consent is foundational because it’s about relationship: to your body, to other people, to choice itself. 

The enthusiastic maybe

This whole podcast is amazing, but we’ve spotlighted the last few minutes for you! Of course, you can listen to the full episode if you’d like. And if you landed here before checking out 101 or 201, definitely circle back — Enthusiastic Maybe is kind of the PhD level of consent. 

Ask your partner if they want to play a simple game: you both answer a list about desires, curiosities, and fantasies, then compare and see where things line up. 

Go through the list individually, then share. There are no right answers, just what’s true for you right now. If something doesn’t apply, choose “no.” Your partner will see your answers, so answer honestly.

How to answer:
Yes = I want this
Maybe = I’m open — this includes things I’d try if my partner wants and things I’m curious about but unsure of
No = Not for me right now

A few notes:
+ The maybes are where most of the interesting conversation lives
+ “No” is valid — it can change over time, but never through pressure
+ This isn’t a contract, it’s a starting point
+ Compare notes after. You don’t need to match on everything. The goal is to understand each other better.

Try it out!

Resources
Betty Martin's teachings on consent

If you’ve gone through all the consent modules and still feel curious, Betty Martin has generously made much of her work available for free in the form of a video course

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    TL; DR

    Consent doesn’t always have to be purely enthusiastic to be valid. Enthusiastic Maybe’s are real. But they require more skill, patience, listening, and embodiment. 

    Feel your feet on the ground. Notice what you're feeling.
    When, and if, you're ready...
    Chapter 2 of 3
    Deepening Intimacy
    Let's begin