Sometimes it’s the most basic things that no one ever teaches that make the biggest difference. Did anyone ever actually teach you how to wash yourself? Like… really? Feeling clean and confident in your body changes everything about intimacy. If you like your partner(s) a little dirty, that’s great. But most of y’all could be washing between the cheeks
a bit more thoroughly.
Penis hygiene 101
1. Wash regularly. Warm water. Mild, fragrance-free soap. You’re cleaning a body part, not marinating it. If it smells like a tropical candle afterward, you’ve gone too far.
2. If you have foreskin, gently pull it back and wash underneath. Rinse well. Then return the foreskin to its normal position.
3. Rinse. Then rinse again. Soap residue can irritate skin and throw things off. Rinse away any soap.
4. Dry thoroughly. Pat dry with a clean towel. Damp, warm moist environments welcome bacteria and fungus.
5. If you’re gonna landscape, it’s better to trim than shave. Trimming keeps things neat without inviting razor burn, ingrowns, or microscopic tears.
6. Wear clean, comfortable underwear. Breathable. Not strangling. If it traps sweat like a sauna, it’s not doing you any favors.
7. Check in with your body regularly. Notice what’s normal for you. Sores, oozing, unusual discharge, or consistent pain are signs to get things checked out.
What to do with the bush?
Ahh, the age-old question: what to do with the bush?
What you do with your pubic hair is completely up to you. Pubic hair is natural, common, and not at all unhygienic or dirty.
Some people love a full bush. Some prefer trimming. Some remove it all. None of these choices are better, healthier, sexier, or more evolved than the others.
The only thing that really matters is that the choice is yours. Keep it. Shape it. Braid it. Remove it. Grow it back. Change your mind later. All up to you. There’s no right way.
Not every bump is an STI. If you shave or wax, it may just be an ingrown hair doing its thing. They go away on their own with time. If it’s painful, clustered, oozing, keeps coming back, or you’re just not sure, get it looked at.
PSA to everyone with a butt
If you want a clean butt, you gotta do more than let the water vaguely wander down your back. Get in there.
Like… between the cheeks 🍑. With soap. With intention. Wash the whole crack. Then clean the outside of the anus (the little donut situation). And while you’re at it clean your taint too. Rinse well. Done.
Washing your own butt is not a sexual orientation. It’s hygiene. Your future self, your underwear, and anyone you invite down to the nethers will thank you.
Vulva & vagina hygiene
Literally this video can save you years of discomfort and questioning.
Antibiotics are incredibly useful when you truly need them, but they don’t just kill harmful bacteria — they can also wipe out beneficial bacteria in the gut and vagina. This can sometimes lead to issues like yeast infections. Use antibiotics when prescribed, but avoid using them unnecessarily.
Understanding vaginal discharge
Vaginal discharge — the wet spots on your underwear — is made from a few different sources working together. The cervix releases fluid that changes across the menstrual cycle, and the vaginal walls themselves continuously produce moisture as part of their self-cleaning, self-regulating process. What comes out of the body is a blend of those fluids, shifting in texture, amount, and appearance depending on hormones, stress, arousal, and where someone is in their cycle. Sometimes it’s thicker and cloudy. Sometimes it’s slippery, stretchy, and clear, especially around ovulation.
It isn’t waste or a problem to solve. It’s the vagina doing upkeep — shedding old cells, maintaining balance, and responding intelligently to what’s happening in the body.
The vagina is also naturally acidic — usually around pH 3.8 to 4.5 — and can bleach underwear. So if you notice a white spot on your underwear even after a wash, that’s totally normal.
Just like the video says, scented douches and perfumes are not the answer. There’s a lot of absurd pressure out there for people to have vulvas that smell like a piña colada… and that’s so silly and harmful. Every body has its own natural flavor 
.
If you’re concerned about taste, the best thing you can do is take care of your overall health: stay hydrated, eat mostly whole foods — plenty of fruits, vegetables, and grains — and avoid excess processed foods and alcohol. It’s not about being “clean” or “perfect,” just supporting your body’s natural balance so it feels, smells, and tastes like you.
Sex can push bacteria toward the urethra (especially in people with vulvas). UTIs aren’t an STI, just… plumbing + proximity.
What actually helps:
Pee after sex. It’s a common rec even though the evidence is mixed — think “low effort, might help,” not “magic spell.”
Hydrate so you’re peeing regularly.
Wipe front to back (yes, it matters).
Don’t use “feminine hygiene” sprays/douches/powders — they can irritate and disrupt balance, which can make infections more likely, not less.
When to get checked ASAP:
UTI symptoms plus fever, back/flank pain, nausea/vomiting (can signal a kidney infection).
Period hygiene
There is nothing shameful about having a period.
But if you feel a little weird about it sometimes, that’s understandable. Most of us grew up in a culture that treated menstruation like a secret, a joke, or something that needed to be hidden at all costs.
So no shame. But also… compassion for the shame if it shows up.
Let’s say it again for the people in the back: periods can be messy, but they are not dirty.
And for a little historical perspective on how weird our culture has been about this: it wasn’t until 1985 that the word period was first spoken on American television in reference to menstruation, when Courteney Cox said it in a Tampax commercial.
Nineteen eighty-five.
Humans had been menstruating for roughly 200,000 years, and we were still whispering about it like classified information.
Okay, but what do I actually need to know?
Wash your hands before and after changing a tampon or menstrual cup. Change pads when they feel damp or uncomfortable, and change tampons every 4–8 hours—never longer than 8 hours. Menstrual cups can usually be worn for 8–12 hours, depending on your flow and the cup’s instructions.
With tampons, use the lowest absorbency that comfortably handles your flow. A super-absorbent tampon on a light day can be dry and unpleasant to remove. And yes, you can sleep in a tampon—just put in a fresh one before bed and make sure it’s out within 8 hours.
Your vagina cleans itself. Do not douche or put soap, wipes, deodorant, or perfume inside it. Wash the vulva—the outside—with water and, if you want, a mild unscented soap. Wipe front to back after using the bathroom. If pads irritate your skin, changing them more often and choosing unscented, sensitive-skin products can help.
Pads and tampons go in the trash, not the toilet. Wrap them in toilet paper or the next product’s wrapper if you want. Reusable cups and discs should be washed according to their instructions and sanitized between cycles—many silicone cups can simply be boiled for a few minutes.
Caught without a pad? Folded toilet paper in your underwear can work as a very temporary backup until you can get a real period product. Glamorous? No. Effective in a bathroom emergency? Absolutely.
And stains happen. Cold water first—hot water can set blood stains. Rinse the fabric, work in a little detergent, and wash normally. For an older stain, soaking or a paste of baking soda and water can help.
Mostly, though: you do not need to be constantly disinfecting, deodorizing, or hiding yourself because you’re bleeding. Keep yourself comfortable, change your products regularly, wash normally, and carry on with being a person.
Toxic shock syndrome is a rare but serious illness caused by toxins produced by certain bacteria. It became associated with tampons in the 1980s, but it can occur with wounds, surgery, or other menstrual products as well. The risk is very low (only a few cases per 100,000 people each year). To reduce risk, change tampons every four to eight hours, use the lowest absorbency you need, and empty menstrual cups regularly.
If someone using a menstrual product develops sudden high fever, vomiting, dizziness, or a rash, remove the product and seek medical care.
Period product options
There are lots of ways to manage your period these days — cups, discs, period underwear, reusable pads, disposable pads, tampons w/ applicators, tampons without. This section can help you compare them and figure out what actually fits your body and your life.
Cups scored especially well because they’re safe, reliable, inexpensive over time, and create very little waste. In general, reusable products ranked higher than disposable ones because they cost less long-term and produce less waste. That said, the best period product isn’t the one that wins a chart. It’s the one that works for your body without causing stress, leaks, or logistical gymnastics. For a lot of people that means a combination of tools not just one.
Some research suggests menstrual cups may increase the risk of an IUD being expelled. In one study, about 14% of menstrual cup users experienced an IUD expulsion within the first year, compared with about 5% of people using pads or tampons. By two years, the numbers were about 23% vs 6.5%. However, IUDs can sometimes fall out even without cups (typically 2–10% overall), and other studies have not found the same increased risk.
The main concern is that cup removal could pull on the IUD strings or create suction if the seal isn’t broken first. Because expulsion risk is already highest in the first few weeks after insertion, many clinicians recommend waiting a few weeks after getting an IUD before using a menstrual cup and always breaking the seal before removing it.
How to use tampons
(We’re not endorsing these brands, they just made great videos)
How to use a menstrual cup
How to use a menstrual disc
The simple foundations of a great sex life
It may sound unsexy, but overall quality of life is the strongest predictor of the quality of your sex life. So here’s a gentle nudge toward the boring, evidence-backed basics that help you feel better in your body, calmer in your mind, and more open to pleasure.
Sleep fixes more than you think.
People who regularly sleep 7–9 hours report better mood, lower stress, and higher sexual desire. Exhaustion is rarely an erotic state.
Move your body a few hours a week.
Regular aerobic exercise reliably improves mood, confidence, energy, and body image. All things that quietly make sex better.
Eat food that your body recognizes as food.
Diets rich in plants, fiber, nuts, and minimally processed foods are strongly associated with better mental health, energy, and long-term physical health.
Relaxed nervous systems are more playful.
When the body is stuck in fight-or-flight, curiosity and desire shrink. Practices that downshift the nervous system — breathing, mindfulness, time outside — make pleasure easier to access.
Connection with others helps.
Research consistently show that strong social relationships are associated with better mental health, lower stress, and longer lifespan. Join a club, play team sports, take a dance class — regular contact with people is surprisingly powerful medicine.
Alcohol can take the edge off, but…
It can also dull sensation, affect performance, disrupt sleep, and worsen mood the next day. If you drink, notice what actually helps you feel good — and where it starts to take away.
Nicotine drains energy.
Smoking is strongly associated with higher stress, worse mood, and poorer long-term health. People who quit often report better energy and wellbeing.
Mental health and sexuality are tangled together.
Depression, anxiety, shame, and chronic stress often dampen desire. When mental health improves, sexual interest and enjoyment often rise too.
Sometimes biology is part of the story.
Certain medications — especially some antidepressants — can change libido or orgasm. If something shifts suddenly, it’s worth checking with a doctor.
Water is key 
.
Even mild dehydration can worsen fatigue, irritability, and brain fog — none of which help anyone feel flirtatious.
The big idea
Great sex is rarely built on clever techniques. It’s built on sleep, energy, emotional safety, a regulated nervous system, and the simple ability to feel good in your own life.
Wash your genitals regularly with mild, unscented soap — no need to overdo it.
The vagina is self-cleaning. Douching isn’t needed and can actually cause harm.
Don’t forget the basics: soap and water between the butt cheeks. Letting water run down your back doesn’t cut it.
Periods are normal — nothing shameful here. Take time to find the products that work best for your body.
The fundamentals matter: sleep, movement, food, stress. They do more for your well-being (and sex life) than almost anything else in this course.
